Assistance Sometimes Places The Burden Of Gratitude Upon Us
It can be all too easy for well-meaning individuals to be manipulated into relationships that they did not want or simply did not intend. When a person seems to go out of their way to help another, sometimes their intentions are not exactly generous. They may simply be wanting to draw that person into an entanglement by manipulating them with the burden of gratitude.
Dating is a common method that a person can be victimized in this way. In traditional relationships, the man is the one who buys dinner. All too often a man uses this fact as a way to manipulate the girl into sex acts, or even an ongoing relationship that she might not wish to have had because he makes her feel she somehow owes him something as repayment for money spent on dinners and movies.
In modern relationships it is not uncommon for women to pay for their own meals, at least in the beginning. In fact, this is recommended for many young women in order to avoid these date-rape scenarios where a man might try to convince her that she owes him sex. If this means that the girl cannot afford to date, this is better than feeling obligated to give sex as payment for a meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
It is typical even for parents to use indebted obligations to control the behavior of their adult children. The fact is, once a person is over the age of eighteen, parents are not legally able to enforce curfews or other restrictions on them. However, in order to control who they date and what they do, some parents will withhold housing or financial assistance to their children if they fail to behave in whatever way they are trying to force.
When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, it is up to us to decide if we think friends offer help for our benefit, or if they are trying to get something from us. Sometimes they actually are just trying to gain something for themselves. They might want to get paid for the help they offer, or even just a foot in the door of our lives in order to date or learn things about us so they can spread rumors.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
We all need help at times in our lives, but who we seek to receive that help from must be carefully considered. Sometimes it is best to seek the help of a stranger before we allow friends, coworkers, or exes to become a part of our solution. Not everyone who seems to love us is offering their assistance with a generous heart.
Dating is a common method that a person can be victimized in this way. In traditional relationships, the man is the one who buys dinner. All too often a man uses this fact as a way to manipulate the girl into sex acts, or even an ongoing relationship that she might not wish to have had because he makes her feel she somehow owes him something as repayment for money spent on dinners and movies.
In modern relationships it is not uncommon for women to pay for their own meals, at least in the beginning. In fact, this is recommended for many young women in order to avoid these date-rape scenarios where a man might try to convince her that she owes him sex. If this means that the girl cannot afford to date, this is better than feeling obligated to give sex as payment for a meal.
Churches may use this same tactic to draw in new members. When a church gives food, clothing, shelter, or money to homeless people, there should be no requirement for that person to attend services. However, such services are held out as a requirement for anyone who pursued help in this way, and this is a perfectly legal thing for them to do.
It is typical even for parents to use indebted obligations to control the behavior of their adult children. The fact is, once a person is over the age of eighteen, parents are not legally able to enforce curfews or other restrictions on them. However, in order to control who they date and what they do, some parents will withhold housing or financial assistance to their children if they fail to behave in whatever way they are trying to force.
When we find ourselves in a difficult situation, it is up to us to decide if we think friends offer help for our benefit, or if they are trying to get something from us. Sometimes they actually are just trying to gain something for themselves. They might want to get paid for the help they offer, or even just a foot in the door of our lives in order to date or learn things about us so they can spread rumors.
As well-meaning people, we must evaluate our own intentions when we offer to assist others in some way. Sometimes our own reasons for helping someone has motives that we have not evaluated fully, and we might be acting in a manner that is not entirely giving. It is up to each of us to ensure that, when we offer help to a friend, we are not offering such help for the sole purpose of benefiting ourselves.
We all need help at times in our lives, but who we seek to receive that help from must be carefully considered. Sometimes it is best to seek the help of a stranger before we allow friends, coworkers, or exes to become a part of our solution. Not everyone who seems to love us is offering their assistance with a generous heart.
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