Helping A Parent Or Spouse With Alzheimer's

By Agatha Lebouef


Not only does Alzheimer's disease affect the more than 26 million people who suffer from the actual disease, it also has a far-reaching effect on loved ones, such as children or a spouse. Caring for someone with Alzheimer's is difficult not only because they simply might not remember you, but also because they can do dangerous things, wander away or lash out aggressively at caregivers.

The disease has several stages and when you begin to notice problems with memory and changes in personality, you probably will suggest that they visit the doctor and be screened for the disease. Of course, your parent could be quite resistant to this suggestion and it's hard to blame them. Alzheimer's is a very frightening prospect, and many people are angry when people suggest they see a doctor, but also very angry and depressed once they are diagnosed. Often, it is the caregivers and loved ones that bear the brunt of this anger.

While it might seem difficult, it is best to disassociate yourself from the anger and understand that this angry comes from fear and while you also are facing the loss of a dear parent, their comments and anger truly are not personal. This person is simply scared and frustrated. One way to soothe your loved one is do reduce stress as much as possible. You can get rid of extra clutter in the home and paint the walls a soothing hue. Keep them away from loud social situations and crowds, which can be very overwhelming. When you notice the person's anxiety begins to rise, speak in soft, comforting, but firm tones. They are scared, so you need to show them that you are in control and everything will be fine.

Because those with dementia are confused, they often lose their grip on time and cannot remember many important events or even where they are or who you are. When a parent asks, "where am I and sho are you," calmly respond by saying that they are in a safe place and then distract them with promise of a meal or perhaps a walk or reading to them from a book. They might begin to insist that they have to visit a relative who already has passed away, so instead of arguing, just ask them to tell you about the person. Keep the person as comfortable as possible and you might even provide them with a specific comfort object, such as a soft pillow that they can hold when they feel tense.

Sometimes, you simply do not have room in your home or perhaps the ability to provide the level of care that your parent eventually will need. If this is the case, you might be looking for nearby eldercare options specifically suitable for those with dementia, Alzheimer's and memory issues. To find a high-quality facility that fits the budget and needs of your parent, consider going through a service such as CarePlacement.com.

There are many different options to consider, and at CarePlacement.com, they can match you to a board & care home, an assisted living community or a skilled nursing facility that offers memory care services. You also could consider in-home caregivers, and CarePlacement.com can provide you with a pre-screened list of qualified individuals to interview. Medi-Cal benefits typically are accepted at nursing homes, so if you are working with a tight budget, this might be your best option. For those with a larger budget, an assisted living home might be a good choice.




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