Some Benefits Of Attending Couples Therapy

By Harriett Crosby


It is a common occurrence for persons in a marital union to disagree. Under normal circumstances, such persons would talk and sort out their differences. In some cases, however, the spouses fail to agree and this results in a difficult relationship that is at the risk of breaking. It is during such an event that couples therapy becomes necessary. In this therapy, a mediator or therapist is involved to help bring an end to the stalemate. There are two types of therapies that exist; short term and long term. The former is done over one to three sessions while the latter lasts between twelve to twenty four sessions.

The counsellor and the couple have to understand that every individual possesses a set of values, principles and beliefs that stand out from the rest. Challenges in a relationship may be interference by outside parties, ego, self-centeredness, insecurity, arrogance, high tempers among others. The manner and magnitude of response of a partner towards changes in the relationship largely determines the happiness among couples. Common changes include disease and financial matters.

The main determinant of effectiveness is the ease with which the affected parties are willing to accept change. People are likely to have different perspectives to such therapies due to the different perspectives that exist. Efforts are geared towards making the spouses reach some common ground. Attitudes that are selfish should be dropped by each of the warring sides.

Communication is one of the major tools in this exercise. Partners are given time in turn to express what they feel about their situation to each other. A problem shared is half solved; therefore this process lightens weight borne by each party with regard to problems. The listener is trained to have a positive attitude towards criticism by their partner as a way of avoiding similar circumstances in future.

There are many types of professionals who can give this therapy. They include, among others, pastors, psychiatrists, social workers and psychologists. The most important attribute of the therapist is to be a good listener. They should also be good problem solvers and neutral in their dealings.

The practitioner first has to listen to both sides of the story before making any other step. Each partner may be seen individually depending on circumstance and how beneficial this can be. However, the individual approach should only be used when there is mutual consent and does not pose further threat to the relationship.

It has been shown that in some cases, therapy may actually worsen the situation rather than solve the existing problem. The most common for this paradoxical result is misinterpreted criticism from the therapist. It is important to identify this as early as possible and to stop the therapy if necessary.

Counseling of persons in same sex relationships and unmarried couples also falls under the category of couples therapy. This is why the name was changed from marital therapy to factor in homosexuality, a recent development. In addition to normal challenges in a relationship, gay spouses have to bear the brunt of both social and legal discrimination. As such, therapists have the task of not only ensuring the couple is comfortable around each other but also facilitating positive reception by the larger society.




About the Author:



Popular Posts