How To Handle Criticism Assertively
The majority of us have struggled to contend with criticism assertively before, but when you're equipped with the correct assertiveness techniques it becomes a lot easier to cope with. Criticism alone isn't actually destructive, since it can consist of helpful information that we can potentially learn and develop from. Having said that, sometimes criticism can be destructive when it is untrue or if it's delivered negatively.
3 Assertiveness Skills To Deal With Criticism
Usually, most people don't contend with criticism positively. They either get upset and aggressive at the person criticizing them or they just pull away. Regardless, these are not good reactions to criticism.
Here are several reliable assertiveness techniques to deal with criticism:
1. Negative Inquiry
Negative inquiry involves indistinctly contending against the criticism by asking for clarification. To illustrate:
Criticism: "You are not performing your job responsibilities well."
Reaction: "How exactly do you think I am not carrying out my work well?"
By using negative inquiry, it is possible to shed light on an ambiguous criticism and make it into one that's clear that you can either agree to and learn from or flat out not accept.
2. Fogging
Fogging involves picking up a minor part of the criticism that you agree with and making use of it to provide a starting point to stand up for yourself. E.g.:
Criticism: "You are out of work, and you are totally throwing away your life."
Reply: "It's true, I'm unemployed, but"
By making use of the fogging method, you lower the potency of the criticism and provide yourself the chance to offer an alternative rationalization.
3. Disagreement
At the end of the day, if there's just nothing constructive for you to get out of the criticism, or if it's just inaccurate, it's your perogative to reject it. A good technique to not agree with a criticism without being seen as aggressive is to contend against its assumptions. To illustrate:
Criticism: "You rarely do a single thing around the house, you just watch television the whole night."
Reply: "That is not true. It might look like I watch TV a lot but I help out a great deal at home as well, like taking out the trash, maintaining the garden and cleaning the dishes."
Most of all, don't forget that you do not have to put up with any criticism if you do not want to, especially when it's destructive and stems from someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
3 Assertiveness Skills To Deal With Criticism
Usually, most people don't contend with criticism positively. They either get upset and aggressive at the person criticizing them or they just pull away. Regardless, these are not good reactions to criticism.
Here are several reliable assertiveness techniques to deal with criticism:
1. Negative Inquiry
Negative inquiry involves indistinctly contending against the criticism by asking for clarification. To illustrate:
Criticism: "You are not performing your job responsibilities well."
Reaction: "How exactly do you think I am not carrying out my work well?"
By using negative inquiry, it is possible to shed light on an ambiguous criticism and make it into one that's clear that you can either agree to and learn from or flat out not accept.
2. Fogging
Fogging involves picking up a minor part of the criticism that you agree with and making use of it to provide a starting point to stand up for yourself. E.g.:
Criticism: "You are out of work, and you are totally throwing away your life."
Reply: "It's true, I'm unemployed, but"
By making use of the fogging method, you lower the potency of the criticism and provide yourself the chance to offer an alternative rationalization.
3. Disagreement
At the end of the day, if there's just nothing constructive for you to get out of the criticism, or if it's just inaccurate, it's your perogative to reject it. A good technique to not agree with a criticism without being seen as aggressive is to contend against its assumptions. To illustrate:
Criticism: "You rarely do a single thing around the house, you just watch television the whole night."
Reply: "That is not true. It might look like I watch TV a lot but I help out a great deal at home as well, like taking out the trash, maintaining the garden and cleaning the dishes."
Most of all, don't forget that you do not have to put up with any criticism if you do not want to, especially when it's destructive and stems from someone who does not have your best interests at heart.
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